Scared Shitless Again

It occurred to me the other day that I do not fear God like I should. I have turned my back on that lion that used to sit in my room. I have forgotten about him and therefore started on this path of fulfilling my own desires, wants, and needs rather than the almighty powerful one who created my defiant body. Yet even though I have turned my back on him and forgot about his presents in my life he still sits there and he is just as powerful and just as pissed of at me but chooses thus far not to do anything. It\’s kinda scary and crazy.
It makes me look back at my child hood and think about my relationship with my dad and I would time after time turn my back on him and do something he told me numerous times not to do. Then when I turn around and he\’s just staring at me. Wow those had to be the most frightening times for me as a little kid. No word came from his mouth, no actions, not even a movement. Just this stomach burning glare. That\’s all it took. I see that with God now. Its frightening to think about the real situation and not the real one that has been substituted. Not the make believe one where God is not involved or there at all but the one where he is still in the room with his eye that have never left me. Not even for a second.
It\’s prolly just like the few second for prey right before a lion darts after them. You can just imagine the fear. Your a little pronghorn grazing in a field minding your own business. You hear a crackle and your eyes glance over in to the bushes and you see the eyes of a giant lion crouched down ready to destroy you.
Why can I not have this fear? Why do I act like the lion instead of the prey? Why is it so hard for me to live like that? Why is my arrogance clouding my mind? Who am I do be a deer and think that I can out run this giant lion who is faster, bigger, strong, smarter, and more powerful than I can ever imagine?
God, forgive my arrogance, help me to fear you. Scared the shit out of me with your power!