Blind Trust

I am no stranger when in comes to taking and making life changing decisions, but just because I am no stranger doesn\’t mean that I am an expert at it. I am far from it especially when the decision is not easily justified or not something that I am at all comfortable doing.

In the last few years I have made probably 4 life altering decisions that I have whole heartedly felt like God was right there with me. List:  opening up to C, moving to virginia, moving to nebraska, and asking K to marry me. Some of those big decisions had smaller big decisions that went along with but those 4 I feel like were the major life altering ones. Now I have come to the conclusion that all the decision that I have made have been fully backed by God and he protected and provided in every case without fail yet when it comes to new decisions  I have hesitations.  Why? It makes no sense. I feel like how Peter must have felt denying Christ. There is no doubt in my mind that peter knew that it was Jesus and had seen him do miracles and signs and wonders yet he denied even knowing him. With that much proof and power how could you do anything but trust. The same goes for me. With that much life change and protection and guidance how could I do anything but trust and walk where he leads me.

I recently read a book by a friend called \”before you walk away\” and there is a chapter about doubting and its okay to question and doubt. That\’s normal. So yet I know that God is there and he is opening doors its still okay for me to wonder why? To me there are a few ways to doubt. One is to doubt with no purpose than to not believe and the other is with the intentions of challenging and making an informed decisions. He wants me to trust him fully but lets not forget that he has given us choices. He can be glorified through both doors that he opens and its my responsibility to choose how I want to glorify him.

So research I have begun to do and searching has started. Two huge decisions have come to the fore front of K and I\’s life. Job change and when do we move to New York. New York still has some time and wont be extremely serious for another year but job change is now. There is no doubt in my mind that I want a job change but what job is the issue. I have the opportunity to work the same position that I did last summer. Again this is only a summer job. K really has a tough time with that part of it. And that\’s where the blind trust comes in.

So many times I have been in the position that I can\’t see the end of the tunnel.  To have that assurance  that there is an opening on the other side. So I must turn to those resources and helps that are there to give me wisdom and sometimes assure me that there is an opening because they have been through that tunnel before.

I looked on the internet to find passages that would help to guide me in the right direction when it came time to make a decision on taking or turning down. Some key principles that I found were the glorification of God, benefit to others and advancement of his kingdom. And these should be bathed in prayer. I am not really sure if this blog warrants a verse or not but the one that sticks out the most to me is

1 Corinthians 10:31-33

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. [32] Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— [33] even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

I feel as tho if my mindset is this verse that it fulfills the three goals that I found for making these tough decisions. I feel as tho Paul understands and wants us to understand that its not about us. Its about seeking and pleasing God only.

After pissing on the floor I have bounced back stronger and more determined. With the help from close brothers and encouragement from then I am no long subject to the vicious cycle of sin. It is frickin awesome to see how the devil can\’t get a foot hold in my life because of authentic relationship!