Train Ride

I have fallen off the train. I love when i am flipping through the channels and an old western is on or when my wife makes me watch them. I really hate them but what i figured out that i relate to is the train scenes. Someone is either getting shoved of a train, run to catch a train, or standing some where on the train. That was the newest mode of transportation back then. Like out supped up cars these days that people race around. Back then it was trains. Now for those of you that are familiar with trains you understand that they are not the most comfortable. They are terrible to walk on. YOu rock back and forth. You are constantly bumping up and down like you are on a bad rollercoaster. Now imagine walking on the top of it like the cowboys in those days. Ten times harder. I picture my walk with Christ these last couple years as this journey on top of a moving train.

You have your regular daily walk on each car. Casually and constently being bubarded with temptation and hardship. Imagine the rocking of the train and the ridiculous amount of wind smashing into your face like a dog with its head out the window. We are constently hit with these obstacle, whether it be the girls in skimpy close or the 10 fast food joints on the way home from work. Its always there. Then as your continue to make your way to the front of the train you must jump from one car to the next. These i would categorize as major events in your life. Like a relative passing away or a huge fight in your marriage. These events if not timed right or handle with percision could lead to you falling off. I feel like this is an accurate picture of how the walk it. Its definitely not the easiest thing in the world and you can see the goal but it is so far away it feels impossible to reach.

Then when you do fall off you lose the ground that you have made over the last traveling that you have done. You may not go back to the start but you have definitely lose gound and momentum. Then you have the task of running back to caught the train. Its difficult because this train never stops. The longer you sit in your sin the farther you move back.

I feel of the train last week. Big time. reading through Romans has been a part of my daily battle. I figure that it would head straighten my head back out. I havent felt this way in a long time. I havent been reading as much as i used to. I have been neglecting things and so selfish that i am disgusted with myself. I have highlighten a bunch of verse of the last week but dont really know what ones with apply but i will just post them for my own memory when i get back to this spot.

Romans 1:21-23 (NIV)
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. [22] Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools [23] and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Romans 3:20 (NIV)
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

Romans 5:20-21 (NIV)
The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, [21] so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 6:1-2,9,15-16 (NIV)
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? [2] By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? [9] For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. [15] What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! [16] Don\’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

My place now is back on the train but my legs are weak. I am weary and shaky. The devil has rocked me and i am at a stand still. The steps i need to take forward are like the first time you jump into a cold pool. I want the pleasure of what God has to offer me but the faith to take the jump is weak. I know its the best for me but its so much easier to fall of the train. ha.

The second part i guess that i want to remember is the realization of the importance of men around me. Imagine standing on the train alone. Now imagine standing on the train with 5 other guys locked arms and working together. What are the chances of failure? or falling? ha. Next to none. Each man is lock into the the next man. I dont know but that picture gives me the chills. Who doesnt what to tackle that adversity like that? To me its a no brainer but slowly over the last two years i have slowly let go of the men that i was holding on to and decided to walk by myself. It doesnt work. The wind and rocking is way too much for me to handle alone.

God bring me back to the reliance on you with the help of brothers. Help my ego to be crushed and my dependance increased. I need it and understand that i have slowly let go of it.