Worship

So i was giving a tour of our college and the class that the student was suppose to sit in on was not schedule to meet but after talking to the professor he agree to do 20mins of class. He told me to stay (which I don\’t normally do) because the class wasn\’t going to be long. Anyways the class ended up taking the whole time but God had me in there for a reason. To point out something that I do so much and what I think a lot of christians probably subconsciously struggle with. (okay i am a terrible writer…just had to mention that) anyways the class was \”intro to worship arts\”. I for got the question that was asked but the response stuck with me. \”I think that we idolize musical worship and rationalize it so that we don\’t have to worship in any other area of our lives.\”

I find myself so many times thinking to my self that i am worshiping oh i am going to church to worship and even in my mind subconsciously think that church is the only time that i worship. I don\’t think of my life as constant worship. That is not a daily thought which i really think that it should be part of my life. Right now i am so lost. Spiritually i have know idea what to think. I most of the time just take the pastor or persons word for it. I dont do any of my own research. I am reading daily with my wife and that keeps me in the word, but i am not really IN the word. I am lost in what to think and growth is not part of my life. Struggling with purpose again and not knowing what to do. Sometimes i feel as though i am missing something or in the wrong place. Then other times i feel its because i haven\’t been studying the word or engaging actively in brother hood. Which is my fault too…

Anyways, Back to worship. Even though i dont think about worship 24 – 7 like i should i feel as though alot of the time i am. Worship by Wiki \’is an act of religious devotion usually directed torwards a deity. Or to give, at its simplest, worth to something.\” The word worship is used in the bible 188 times. A reoccuring strongs hebrew and greek means to \”make low, bow, prostrate, fall down, kiss, honor\”. There are some others but you get the picture.

I dont know in my mind i think that in a way when you bow or fall down you are complete focused on one thing. there are not many things you can do from the ground. I think of being in the fetal position as a bear is attacking you. It is this idea of completely humbling yourself lower than the object that you are worshiping. You are in a defenseless position. A position that is completely vulnerable to any attack, you are in essense pleading for mercy to be poured out. Hmm… my stomach just turned writing that. God is so gracious when we dont deserve it.

I also heard another thing in class that kinda knocked my socks, \”its easier to die than to become humble\”. I think we spend so much time on our feet in the pursuit of our selfish gain, fighting our guts out against what God has planned when we should fall straight to his feet vulnerable and humble waiting for him to take us where we need to be. I just realized…I need to stop fighting him. He knows what is best for me. I dont know why i spend so much time away. He has never left. I dont know if this makes any sense or not. or if i hit the mark or totally missed but i pray that God with continue to opening my blinded eyes.