It is kinda…well its pretty stinking sweet what God is doing in my life. I am blessed beyond belief. I think that is why I broke down last night. I am so blessed and at the same time I don\’t really feel like I either deserve it or even adequate enough to make the best of it. In someways this is completely true because I am inadequate but at the same time i just feel so over whelmed. I am constantly battling and trying to hold my life together like a balancing act. I am delusional in a way that this balancing act looks kinda ridiculous.
I don\’t often use memory verses or anything when I am blogging but this topic really rings out what it is like when we try and do everything and do not let God control anything. I few snippets come to mind when I think about our all powerful God.
Psalm 136:12
with a strong hand and an outstretched arm,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.
Matthew 19:26
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Okay So I lied a little bit these are not really verses that I have memorized, I was thinking more along the lines of \”my God provides all I need.\” Or something like that. I feel like i dirt bag tho, or a faker because i just googled verses of God\’s power. This picture that i have in my head is pretty funny and i cant find anything remotely close to it to portray the point i want to make.
God doesn\’t need my help. I don\’t need to stress. Its such a simple truth that i don\’t understand why it wont just stick into my brain. The picture that has reoccurred multiply times in my head is this picture of me juggling nothing with beads of sweat running down my face. continually trying to keep this nothing in the air while standing on one foot. Then right above my head is God, with a confused face while holding all my stuff over my head wondering what the heck i am doing. I dont know. I miss the relationship I had with God and long for that back. Were I trusted God completely.
Nos & Rehtaf, Dnabsuh 