Recently I started reading the R4G book again per the push of a friend. I am beginning to remember why I believe, what i believe and how i cant stand all of the people that i work with because they are perfect Christians. I gave the book to a player of mine to read a few chapters in. I think he will go bananas when he reads it. It especially hits the black folk hard because we are used to wearing our emotions on our sleeves no matter the cost. That is why so many of my players constantly say, \”why is everyone here so fake?\” Good question.
My purity is a hole lot better as far as hardcore stuff goes. I still catch my mind slipping away sometimes. E-bop brought up something funny that i actually talked to my wife about earlier. That she should make me a peep book lol sounds crazy and not necessarily sure how biblical it is but it would be freaking cool.
God is a big God. I haven\’t cracked my bible yet though. I know that this R4G book isn\’t enough to sustain me, i am just scared to open it again. It is almost like i forgot how or if i do God wont reveal anything to me. I know that isn\’t true but sometimes i cant help but feel this way. I hope to be here more. writing down what i feel and my bad with my enormous God.
Nos & Rehtaf, Dnabsuh 
Thanks buddy this is awesome! it is encouraging beyond belief and the crazy part is i read the bible last night for the first time in forever and it was like a wave of crazy overpowerness that went through me. So amazing that i have you and casey to remind me of truth when i am too afraid to seek it.
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To add to that: Just read the previous post on here and wanted to mention that Satan wants you to feel helpless, like you are alone, and he wants you to question if you believe. But he's wrong. This is one brother coming alongside another one, man. The site is called \”Rambo\” and you call us warriors. We are in a really crazy battle with Satan, all three of us, especially now. Keep fighting man!
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Don't feel bad for feeling like you cannot open your bible. Happens to me all the time and it sucks. But youre not alone. As soon as you get back into it you remember how awesome it is to commune with our \”enormous God\”. Its like he just keeps welcoming us back no matter how dumb we can be. I know I feel it, and Im betting you will too. Hopefully its an encouragement, man.
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