I recently wrote a chapter subtitle that said, “hiding offers a reward no one gets.” I am hiding. I cannot deny that fact. I am good at it. Pretending. Blending in so people forget I exist. It comes with its problems.
People actually forget you exist. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, the barking dog gets fed. I was trained to behave the opposite. If you are patient and work hard things will work out in the end. When is the end? How hard is hard enough? Why is it one area of my life in disarray? The fact that I think it is only one area is proof that I am blind. What is the reward that I am seeking?
If you are smart, Don’t pray.
No one talks about the downside of praying. There is an ongoing immediate downside to praying. It works. A favorite rapper of mine has a line in a song that says, “We try to bottle up God like a genie and get mad when he tells us no, Prayer really works, just not the way that you think it does.”
This has never been more true, and a good chunk of time, I regret that I prayed. Also, something no one tells you is that like interest, pray compounds on itself. So the longer you pray, the more it works. And when I say it works, your life becomes miserably amazing. Never just amazing, it is always miserable first.
I can not even remember the prayer I uttered first. I remember the last few unfortunate missteps. You think you are doing the right thing by praying. And your intentions are pure but hardly ever is the answer to prayer a simple one. Especially if you are far from the position that God wants you in.
Praying sucks temporarily, as my wife has pointed out, the society that we live in penalizes the posture and positioning of prayer. The world is in opposition to the answers to prayer. So when you pray it often feels like you are the loser. So just don’t pray. Honestly, this truth sounds like just some words to make you feel better but at the same time I think there might be something there.
Pain comes with prayer. Rarely have I ever experienced prayer without blinding pain. It sucks. However, the pain is largely related to my own sin and the sinful world we live in. So then how do I discern what is difficult and good from what is difficult and evil. How do you discern what is difficult about prayer and temporal consequences?
Honestly, I don’t know. When I spank my kids, how much of it is because I love them and how much of it is because I want them to remember not to do it again? It sounds like a loose justification for God, but it’s not. I just don’t think the answer is that simple. I think it is closer to a “both/and.”
So here is the truth. If you want your life to change. If you want to grow. If you want God to work then pray. I can attest it is not a mere act or fluffy mimicry. It works. Your life will change. And you may not see it as better, but it will be. So if you are a dummy, then pray. And if you are really stupid, just keep praying.
Nos & Rehtaf, Dnabsuh 