Every so often I get a word picture in my head. Yesterday was Chuck’s birthday and this morning I was reflecting on the current state of the relationship. Which is to say there isn’t one. This is the result of no expectations. I have none for him and he has none for me. For the longest time I have understood this as simply being strangers.
I fought for twelve years to hold together a family and relationship. Offering my body and mind as sacrifice, often pulling others in to shoulder the blows. It felt like attempting to keep a sand castle together in the midst of a midwest storm. The rain was the majority of the frustration, but the fear was rooted in the hail and wind. Oh how it loves to change direction, and seemed to come out of nowhere. All the while acting as though I should have seen it coming.
It was right. I should have seen it coming. And I did. The fault lay with my response to it. For twelve years I attempted to ride out the storm. Hoping the damage was minimal and whatever survived could be mended. That was the lie I believed. The best response was to just move.
Ultimately, the old saying is still very true. Don’t mess with Mother Nature.
Nos & Rehtaf, Dnabsuh 